O Lord God

O Lord God

My vitality has dried up inside me

I know not where I go

I look but I do not see

I hear but I do not listen

O Lord God

Where art thou in this desert?

My hopes have been fried

By the furnace of my soul

A raging fire

Release me into Your rivers

Where the deer panteth the waters

Deliver me into spring

Where the lilies dance in Your sight

And where the sparrow sing

In this darkness, I gasp for

the Breath of Life

To strengthen my bones

and add meat to my body

So that I may be whole

The Day We Walked

It was this time when a story began to unfold

A tale of two friends on a journey together

Of love, sacrifice and hope

Despite the thunderstorm and the sunny spring

As they talked by the bridge

And take in the atmosphere

She couldn't help but notice his brown eyes

While he admired her mesmerizing smile

One gaze that froze the perfect polaroid frame

A moment where the hands of the clock froze

Amidst the lapping water and the yellow pollen

Despite the barks of an agitated canine

While they walked along the road

Showered with beautiful flowers

A green-eyed feline watched them

His curiosity grew while she stood away

They couldn't help but to tame the intensity

of their hearts jumping inside them

As they walked back to the bridge

Because time had run out

Like a gentleman, he walked her back to the gates

She smiled quietly watching him at the opposite road

When it was time to part

They smiled and gave their last wave

As he walked back, she thought

of the beautiful frienship they share

That will transcend borders

And one day will bring them together

"Dear beloved, lovely art thou

Like the sun that shines and the stars that sparkle"

As they await the long wait when they

Can finally belong together, forever.

Notification

Too busy with my Tumblr blog to update here.
I kind of like tumblr though I feel that its quite limited cause I can't have any additional widgets.
Or maybe I'm so Jurassic Park that I don't know how to do it.

For those of you who actually read my blog, go to my Tumblr.

http://cessamae-mo.tumblr.com/

Till I blog here again! :)

Blabbers..

I feel better today. Last night was another one of my attacks and in the process, I hurt someone I loved. Its scary how I sometimes let go and allow my emotions to control me.

I'm happy to go back to college cause I miss all my peeps as well as some of my classes. (Intermediate English, Computing Principles). Plus, its been a week since I studied so getting back to college puts me in the momentum to study.

I love GOD, Literature, Music, Arts/Culture, Leadership, as well as Culinary Arts (baking!) so I'm brainstorming on how to expand these interests as well as talents. Thank God for mind maps!

I've been watching Hannah Montana a lot after so long. Its seriously funny and its not childish. Don't know which dingdong said it was. Or maybe I'm still 17 and immature. Anyways, I like watching it. SO WHAT?

To spice things up, I decided to watch High School Musical 3 tonight just for the fun of it. My favourite dance number would have to be "I Want it All". Its like performing arts (another one of my faves..) thats why I love the song and dance rountine.

My writing juices are pumping in! HOORRAAYYY!!!

I'm learning to change my perspective about myself. My sister said I'm literally thrashing myself with such destructive words. I have to change...

I LOVE TODAY! :)

When I Look At You

When I look at you
I hear two birds singing in the sky
A sweet melody of young love
Resting above the autumn shade of the tree branch
Their beaks pressed in a kiss
The breeze dancing through their bliss

When I look at you
I see a purple and orange notebook
With words on pages filled to the tip
A timeless collection of psalms and songs
Of a story told long ago
Retold in time as the years go by

When I look at you
I taste strawberry cupcake
And imagine the pink shade of your lips
The sugary feel of the icing
The scrumptious golden cake
Forming a smile just like yours

When I look at you
I smell the lovely scent of a rose
Of love and innocence
Like your fair skin, I feel the soft petals
Brushing against my cheek
As I imagine the curve of your smile

When I look at you
I feel the rhythm of your heartbeat
Slow at first, then accelerating
As our hearts merge as one
Locked for forever and a day
Bound to the Heart above

Sun Up!

Today I felt much better. I'm realising that I'm growing up too fast and that I should just take a breather and enjoy being a teenager instead of wishing to be a young adult.
Sigh, I wish I had friends my age whom I can hang-out with. Thats another reason why I was desperately wanting to grow up.

It's hard at times to be true to yourself because you know that certain things that you like are flagged off by others as "childish" or "lame". But hey, so what? If I like it, then I like it la! Why measure up to other people's standards?

Plus, I've been having a hard time on believing what the word of God says about me instead of internalizing my own thoughts. Cause my thoughts can be really self-destructing at times (sometimes all the time). I've taken the step to meditate on one scripture a day. (and that reminds me, I've gotta finish memorising Psalm 103:1-5 before we kena from Unc. Nie tomorrow! oopsie...)

During my getaway last week, I drew up a mind map of my abilities and interests and how I can expand them. Ideas started flowing like a waterfall racing down into the river. After that, I felt really relieved and I'm going to apply whatever I wrote.

Feels good to be happy. And fulfilled.

Elmo always makes me happy! :-)

Broken

"Bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky..."

The best thing to do when you're sad (besides talking to God), is to just remain silent. Cause when you open your mouth, all that comes out is negativity.

I realised that I've been given a chance to live my preteen years. The years when I wished to be 16 at that time, only to ask myself if I'm happy or not after getting what I wanted. Right now, I'm wishing that I was 22. *slaps face*

I'm pretending to be someone else. I lost my sense of identity.




"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise him, Who is the help of my countenance, and my God.."
Psalm 42:11