Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Swinging 60s

My love for the 60s is returning! Although "American Dreams" has finished airing on TV, the passion burns and lives on :)



My current favourite :)
( after "Help me, Rhonda" of course )





My favourite episode on American Dreams where THE KINKS WERE FEATURED!!!!!!! *screams and jumps up for joy!* of course its not them la, its the song that rocks
"Girl, I wanna be with you...."





I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS EPISODE!!!! The Beatles were featured.
HOW COULD I?????
Sigh.



Long live the 60s! *high five to whoever fond of the 60s*

Hope Rising above the Shattered

Beneath the silence, my heart groans
Deep down, it kills
A smile on the surface but
brokenness lies below
So many questions,
I need an answer.

I know you hurt as much as me
Its ok dear, God is here for us
Everyday brings us one step closer
Everyday our friendship begins to heal
One day it'll all be better
One day the sun will smile

For now, I'll keep hoping
Remembering our beautiful memories
Dreaming about what lies ahead for us
Not forgetting to enjoy the present as well
Yearning for you to smile
Anticipating a word from you

Our book has buried itself in the grave
I will never open it until the time is right
For now, our psalms lay dormant
Our poems and prayers lay silent
Until that day
When our pens bring it back to life

Everyday I fall deeply in love
To the heart that drew itself to me
To the character that first captured me
Though you're far away
It'll never die
Though silent, it'll keep burning


Fret not my beloved friend
It'll be all over
Before you know it
We'll be back into endless chatter
Singing our favourite songs
And fighting in the kitchen

Though long is the time we must wait
At least the silence disappears
After a stormy night
The sun never cease to rise
Whatever comes our way
We'll see it through together

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Morning Reflections...

During my quiet time, I was pondering about issues close to my heart. What we feel mostly about, we should be silent until we first talk them through with God. He gives the release and the peace that rules our hearts, and perhaps some kind of solution.

Things I can learn during this time of silence and distance:

  • Being a virtuous woman - Proverbs 31:10-31
  • Depending fully on God and relying on His strength - 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
  • Self-acceptance - Psalm 139:14-15
  • Submission to God as well as others above me - Ephesians 6:1-3, 1 Tim 2:11
  • Silent humility - Philippians 2:1-8, Proverbs 29:23
  • Patient waiting - 1 Corinthians 13:4a, Galatians 5:22
  • Trusting and waiting on the Lord - Proverbs 3:5-6
  • Learning from other matured Christian women about submission and managing a household - Titus 2:4-5
  • Focusing on God's will for my life - Colossians 3:2, 1 Corinthians 7:17, 20
  • Being a better friend to others - 1 John 3:16
  • Loving my neighbour as myself - John 13:34-35.

In June, its going to be 3 and a half years left,

Everyday brings us one step closer to each other,

Just wait on the Lord.

Grieving souls

the pain hurts...
the silence kills...
i miss you so much...
you're just one click away and i can't talk to you...
:'(

i'm so sick trying not to show emotion...
pieces of my heart is tearing bit by bit...

thank you, God that You're always here...
thank you, God that You're watching over him...

Where would I be without You, Lord?

.....................God only knows what I'll be without you.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Rock bottom

Do you know what's the worst part of being 18 years old?
The constant battle between what's right and wrong. The constant battle of choosing to be immature or to be mature. The constant battle of battling with yourself.

Moments like this, I wish that I could bang my head against the wall till my skull cracks open and blood squirts out in a million directions. And let my body drag down to the ground and just rot. (i apologize for my gruesome description, i'm just too imaginative)


Then just before I think of doing such things, I remember that I have someone to hand in my burdens to. I have someone who has already paid the price. A price too high that no human can pay. I have a reason to live. I have a love that is eternal. So deep and true that He layed down His life for me. Do I deserve such love?

The answer is : Yes, I deserve this love.
Why? Because God loves me as much as He loves you. No matter how much you try to reason with yourself, the bottom line is that GOD LOVES YOU.

"There is no greater love than Yours,
Nothing else could ever compare,
And even if I search all the world,
I will never find a love like Yours..."
- "I Just Want You" , Planetshakers.


I've got lots to learn. I'm in the crossroads between what's right and wrong and what's mature and immature. The temptation to cross over to the dark side is great. The thought of doing my own things, going my own way, doing what I want is so great.
Yet the price He paid so that I could live is much greater. So much greater than my thoughts and emotions. So much greater than who I think I am.

Addison Leitch said, "When the will of God crosses the will of man, somebody has to die".
I know who that somebody is.
That somebody is me.

The best thing to do in crossroads? Surrender it all to God.

"Where would we (I) be without You, Jesus?
Where would we (I) be without You, Lord?"
- "Jesus Reigns", Planetshakers.


I MISS YOU SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS

In God's Time

It was 1.00 am in the cold night,
I've waited for an hour,
Pacing about anxiously,
Trapped in a whirpool of thoughts.
Beneath the wooden door,
I heard a few sniffles and more chatter.

Tired of pacing, I leaned against the wall
Opposite to where you were,
Wondering if you were alright,
Relieved that you could finally open up,
Glad that you got a chance when it seemed like you couldn't.

1.16 am,
You emerged out of the door,
Together with the pastor's smile,
You looked at me with your tear-strained eyes,
I sighed in relief.
You were okay.

You walked over to me with a smile,
And leaned next to me,
Whispering about the events behind closed doors,
I would have hugged you if no one was there,
Yet in my heart, I was so happy for you.

So we decided to have cereal,
I smiled brightly as I made it for you,
Thinking that I'd be replaying this scene one day
In a different setting, somewhere in the future.
You watched me with a smile,
For you also had that thought in your mind.

Once we settled in our seats,
We talked.
Gazing into your beautiful brown eyes,
I smiled as I listened to you.
My hands shivered in the cold, and immediately,
You cupped my hands into yours as I held the warm mug of cereal.

We recounted precious memories,
and enthusiastically talked about the future.
We have a long wait. A long, long wait.
Yet everyday brings us closer
To the gift that we will one day open.

Tenderly, I pushed your hair away from your eyes
And ran the back of my hand across your face,
Tracing your slight moustache with my finger,
Watching you as you sipped the cereal carefully
After first, feeding it to me.

For a moment or two,
Our gaze locked.
My heart turned over as I contemplated
Who you are as a person,
Your character that drew me to you.


We clasped our hands, out of love
and away from the cold
What a beautiful night in the hills!
As the stars danced beneath the clouds
As the moon slept with a smile.

1.50 am,
The pastor's wife walked in,
Our hearts froze,
It was time to go,
She smiled at us, her kind eyes watching us,
As we finished the last bit and stood up to leave.


After we washed up,
We looked at each other to say good night,
As she watched us, still with a smile,
Waiting for us to leave,
Although you playfully walked over to me,
She held you back, still with her smile,
Eventually, you blew a kiss to me from across your room,
I smiled back at you, my stomach in backflips,
As she rolled her eyes and finally made us go into our respective rooms.

What a memorable night it was,
Just you and me,
And the cold hills of the morning,
A memory that will never fade
One that would last a lifetime,
Where no words could comprehend,
The night when we got a glimpse of the future.


And so the pastor's wife told me the next day,
"Last night was fun, wasn't it?
Well, more of it will come in the future"
She smiled and didn't hesitate to add,
"In God's Time".

Friday, April 2, 2010

Heads up!

Life has really been great.
Today I had an awesome day at college, especially in my IT class. We were assigned in groups to present our views on the question given to us. Our group was:

How does computer competencies and knowledge help us get ahead in today's market?


We had a good, laugh-out-loud presentation. Then after that, my friends and I went to play pool. Wow, Alwin and Kok How were just awesome! Alwin was teaching me how to hold the stick properly and Kok How was briefing me on strength and accuracy. The rest who joined us was Peter (also known as Leon), Sherri, Michael and Diana.

Everyday is a discovery. I made new friends. Amy, Damien Han, Jessica are some of them also.
Too bad their gonna reshuffle us AGAIN!

Oh well, at least Alwin, Sherri and I share the same Intermediate English class.

College life is getting more and more interesting.